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November 11, 2010
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September 20, 2010
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June 16, 2010
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oakley capital acquires majority stake in facile,oakley capital says fund ii agrees acquisitions

Asking other people for money is a bummer. No matter how perilous your situation may be, unless you're some kind of con artist, oakley capital says fund ii agrees acquisitions you're always going to feel loser y when someone forks over their hard earned scratch just to help foot one of your bills. Neighborhood lemonade sales are the first jobs to go in a recession. But what if you could soften the beggarly blow by asking for something that people view as a nuisance anyway? Like maybe if you asked 2.8 million people to each send you one dirty, good for nothing penny. That's the genius level plan that Mike Hayes, a graduate from Rochelle High School in Illinois, thought up when he found himself short 25 large for the $28,000 he was going to need to attend college (in 1987). Instead of saddling himself with a lifetime of student loan debt or pulling a Soul Man a la C. Thomas Howell, Hayes took his cause to the people. He sent a letter to newspaper columnist Bob Greene, whose column was syndicated in over 200 newspapers, despite being a person we've never heard of. In the letter, Hayes asked readers to send one penny each to go toward funding his college education. According to this article, as of November 1987, Hayes had received more than 77,000 letters and earned more than $26,000. Snopes follows that up by confirming that the enterprising young handout enthusiast did indeed earn enough for that college education and graduated with a degree in food science. Good choice. A degree like that is going to give Mike a major leg up when it comes time to fight for the last available fast food job in town with the rest of the college graduate pool. "With my degree paid for, I was able to afford the machete that got me my first job."A Date With the First Lady Hitting on another man's wife is a bold move, no matter who the husband in question may be. But it becomes a matter of personal safety when the wife you're hitting on also happens to be the first lady of the United States of America. Perhaps you don't realize it (because your state has no helmet laws in place), but that means her husband is the president of the United States, and that's a man who can send some damage your way if you wrong him. Chip Somodevilla / He could have a cruise missile halfway up your prostate by the time that kiss ends. The very real threat of a Secret Service issued beating was no deterrent for Lance Corporal Aaron Leeks, though. "With your husband's permission, of course," he added, avoiding an uncomfortable waterboarding later. Shockingly, the plan worked. Michelle Obama called an aide over to get the Marine's information and, as far as we know, is still planning to attend the event in November. Something along the lines of "yap rat" would be a better name, but we don't get to make those decisions, do we?If it fits in a picnic basket, you can't rightly call it a dog. Usually we do not. But there's something about the naivete of youth that makes anything seem possible, even a herculean task such as getting a long standing product naming error corrected. So when 3 year old Lily Robinson noticed that a product called "tiger bread" at her local supermarket seemed to have been named by a complete dumbass, she didn't hesitate to act. By Lily's estimation, the product that these buffoons oakley capital acquires majority stake in facile were selling as tiger bread should have been named after the savannah's tall drink of goofy, the giraffe. And she was objectively right. The bread's cracked, crusty skin made it look like it was spotted. And so she sat down with a pen and paper (and probably one of those fake tea sets like in the movies) and hammered out a sternly worded letter for the people at Sainsbury's, the local grocer in question, and asked the 3 year old equivalent of "Have you jerkoffs ever even seen a tiger?""Seriously, get some fact checkers, you grocery shilling ignoramuses." It's the kind of wiseacre comment you imagine retailers getting by the hundreds, if grocers' mail is anything like our comment section, but present it in the hastily scrawled penmanship of a 3 year old and people pay attention. Why? Because kids not only are adorable, but also are too young to know that they should demand payment for their work. Rename something based on the recommendation of an adult and you might as well give them a cut of your company's revenue, because they're going to expect a windfall. Not little Lily, though. All she got in return was a letter from the company, saying her idea was brilliant, and a Sainsbury's gift card. As for the bread, it retained its tiger based moniker for a few more weeks, but once Lily's letter went viral on social media outlets, the company relented to public pressure (great use of your free time, England) and changed the name to giraffe bread. And all it took was a little girl to sit them down and tell them that nobody was fooled by the badass self appointed nickname they'd given their bread.

oakley capital acquires majority stake in facile,oakley capital says fund ii agrees acquisitions

 

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