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Gallo Images/Getty Images News/Getty Images In addition to having a name seemingly invented for the sole purpose of frightening pirates, Tokyo Sexwale happens to be one of the most impressive human beings to have ever lived. He was born in South Africa at the very height of Apartheid and joined a militant wing of the anti Apartheid movement in the 1970s. He was soon chased into exile, where he joined the Soviet military and trained in military engineering, which we assume means that he can straight up kill a motherfucker with a sheet of graph paper. When his training was complete, oakley capital investments limited ord 1p di fund he returned to his homeland to kick some racist assholes inside out, but he soon found himself in prison next to Nelson Mandela. Upon his release at the end of Apartheid, Sexwale went into politics and is credited with bringing peace to several formerly violent areas of the beleaguered nation. Political goals achieved, he set his sights on the business world, soon making a fortune in diamonds and oil. He's like the South African version of Donald Trump, if Trump were much less of a ridiculous walking anus (Sexwale even starred in the South African version of The Apprentice). Over the years, his name has even been tossed around for the presidency. Once again, that name is Tokyo Sexwale. To be fair, his name is actually pronounced "Seh wah le," but obviously that's not how you just read it. You read it like the name of the most terrifying sea monster in the history of creation. He's one of the most respected mayors in the city's history, known for having opened the north end of the city for development, substantially reducing traffic by elevating the city's railroads, and literally cleaning up the city's shit by overseeing the construction of a sewage system that's still in use today. Baals is credited with putting Fort Wayne on the map, inasmuch as Fort Wayne can be considered to be "on the map." And in case you're wondering: yes, his name is pronounced like "hairy balls.""Of course, I changed that for politics. Originally it was Richard Fuchs." Veteran Fort Wayne newscaster Bob Chase recalled a time when a press release about the mayor popped up on his teleprompter. Bob pronounced the name "Harry Bales," presumably because it was the 1950s and the FCC would burst in and shoot you with a flamethrower if you said the phrase "hairy balls" on television. Seconds after he finished the show, Chase's phone rang. Baals himself was on the other end, and he said, "Son, this is your mayor, and I pronounce my name 'Balls.'" Truly, the man refused to be ashamed of his Baals. The residents of Fort Wayne were proud of their Harry Baals too. He was so well liked that there's even a street named after him. Baals Drive because it got too expensive to replace all the "Harry Baals Drive" signs that people kept stealing. It's become so bad that they've pretty much decided to quit naming stuff after him a proposition to christen a building in his honor was shot down, despite the fact that Baals received more votes than any of the other suggested names, because of course he did. well, not really a stereotype. They're particularly good at winter sports, having won four of the last seven Winter Olympics. In 2014, Germany finished outside of the top three for the first time in 20 years. However, the 2014 games were held in Russia, and Germany historically doesn't perform well on Russian soil. In an effort to combat the long held suspicion that Germans have no sense of humor, oakley capital investments limited acquires techinsights one of their top female skiers recently retired in 2013 after doing her last run at the Alpine Skiing World Cup in a tutu. As further evidence of the German sense of humor, her parents, the Chmelars, decided to name her Fanny, and you guessed it, their last name is pronounced like "Shmeller." That's right one of Germany's best winter athletes might as well be named Assy Buttsniffer. Alex Livesey/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images That posture sure isn't doing anything to help downplay the implication. Still, in her 10 year professional skiing career, Chmelar . She won two Europa Cup events and finished in the top three in 10 others. Her professional career consisted of 89 races in the Alpine Skiing World Cup, and back in 2009 she came in second. In the world. There are certain things that the human body is simply not meant to do. We are convinced that one of those things is long distance running. The only reason human beings should run more than three miles in a single stretch is if they are being pursued by a relentless monster.

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